Confessions of a working grad school student (in her 30s)

I was back and forth about going to grad school through my 20s and in my 30s I just assumed the ship had sailed. Then I was inspired by a person I met at work who had gone through a program that sounded like exactly what I was looking for – flexible, ranked, and entrepreneurial.

Fast forward to 8 months into the program (with a year or so left) and I wanted to share my reflections with the world, especially those who may be thinking about doing the same thing some day.

Context: I have a full time job as a marketing manager at a prominent software company. I can work late nights and weekends. I used to volunteer once a week for 10 years. I ran a non-profit on the side. I travel internationally for work. And I have an active social and personal life. I had no issues understanding and deciding on what needed to drop off during the year in order to make time for grad school.

Here are my learnings so far:

• You miss weddings, birthdays, family events, world series games and basic social events. You feel guilty and like a bad friend or family member. But in the process comes this awesome realization of who your friends really are. And the fact that they are rooting for you is so cool. The others can just take a back seat in your life.
•  If you’re in a relationship, the other person needs to understand your priorities. If he/she doesn’t, it will be much more stressful for you. Just sayin. J And something not to take lightly, they need to be there for you during this time or see above – take a back seat.
• What’s working out? Exercise? No way, I have a quiz tomorrow.
• Grad school in your 30s is humbling. I can’t seem to remember anything I read no matter how super interested I am in the time that I am actually reading it.
• I do get very excited about the concepts and bring them back into work immediately. That is pretty freakin cool. Homoscedasticity anyone? Economic value of a customer? Efficient Frontier? Oh yeah. (Not recommended for conversations at parties. Oh wait, you don’t have time for parties.)
• You think you can manage time, but time tells you to go #5$@% yourself. Because you can plan all you want, you will have no idea how long it will actually take you, if you’ll be in the mood to do it, if you will actually have an opinion about the discussion, or if you’d rather sleep. Just get over this.  
• Check your ego at the door if it is possible. I used to be an A student – and probably could be if I didn’t have a demanding job. Now a solid B+ average. And it kills me. Thanks wannabe tiger parents/culture. Also, I’m not a naturally smart person (I am so jealous of those people), but need to study / read to be smart. If you are the former, you may be fine.
• Take care of yourself. Even if that means that one day you want to eat junk food, just do it. Or take a day or 2 off to focus on your final, it’s all good. But try to something mindful on a regular basis – meditation, jogs, etc. You’ll fire more neurons that way, hey, that’s just truth in science.
• Enjoy it. I have the best cohort. We’re all friends, we all have our quirks, and I think we do a good job of taking care of each other. That was a surprise to me. No one is competitive or tries to outshine you. Rather, they want to help you if you’re struggling.
•  Being broke, managing money. This is just annoying but part of the territory. It’s an investment, blah blah blah.

 My advice:

•  If you’re not mentally ready to make sacrifices, don’t do this. Because you will become flaky, make sacrifices and be hard on yourself. You need to be able to handle it.
•  I can see why people do this full time. May not be such a bad idea if you can swing it. Especially if you’re going to such a competitive program.
• If you want to do it, do it. Do it. You’ll be so proud of yourself when you’re done.
•  And, just don’t be so hard on yourself. Enjoy the ride man.Remember, this is your choice.

That’s all for now. Back to cost accounting. The joy.